"Excuse me, can you tell me how to transfer to the 'A' Train?"

You can get around New York fast, if you get on the right train and don't get lost in the subway.

These metallic monsters with names like the "A" and the "L" cruise their subterranean world at high speeds, delivering the masses to work and back again every day. They arrive at the loading platforms swiftly, open their jaws, ingest humans of all types, like giant whales, then slip back into the nether regions and race for the next stop.

And humans are not the only creatures to be seen in the murky environment of a subway. There are large rats traveling around in there, too. But their destinations are probably different from yours. So don't bother to ask them for directions.

I did see a large rodent dart out from a corner and run right between the feet of a large cop, who was sitting on a stool providing security. The cop just shuffled his feet unconcerned - because the rat posed no security risk - he then resumed reading his book. The rat looked around and ran back to wherever he came from. I wonder if the book was about rodent control.

Personally, I had problems negotiating the turnstiles, but friendly cops helped me make it through a couple of times. They even used their own passes to save me a double charge!

What does someone from Boulder, Colorado know about subways, anyway?